Whether you are married, planning on getting married someday, or are a good friend to a married person or couple, you know that spouses can often take each other for granted.

Really this is not confined to marriage relationships.  Friends, co-workers, employers, parents, children, and in countless other relationships, taking others for granted or being taken for granted by others is all too common.  However, the marriage relationship is one of the (if not the) easiest of relationships for taking one another for granted.

Most wedding vows do not contain this statement, “I promise to never take you for granted.”

Why not?  Surely we should not take each other for granted, right?  Right.  We should always appreciate the acts of kindness, faithfulness, and love given by our spouse, right?  Right.

However, when looking at what the word granted means (that something is a given, an expected thing, or even an obligatory and owed thing), we can see that it is not always wrong in every sense to take someone, especially our spouse, for granted.

I expect my wife to be faithful to me.  It is an owed thing that she tell me the truth.  I am obliged to take care of her.  It should be a given that I would not lust after any other woman.

All of these things and more are expected and even commanded (not by the culture, media, or what is most common, but by God in His Word and because of the promises we’ve made to each other).

If I go out of town for a weekend, it should be taken for granted that I not cheat on my wife and vice versa.  It is true that we should always be appreciative, humble, thankful, and proud of our spouses.  But if we cannot take our spouses for granted in some things, then unconditional, sacrificial, and faithful love has no meaning.  Christian marriages should preach the Gospel (Eph. 5:15-33) and display the standard of what kind of love should be present in marriages in the Church and in the world.

Should we take our spouses for granted (meaning be unthankful and arrogant and demanding)?  Of course not.  Should we take our spouses for granted (meaning count on and expect them to be faithful in their love for us)?  Absolutely.

May God be glorified by how our marriages (and all of our relationships) display and boast about Jesus Christ and His unconditional love.  It is granted that He is always steadfast in His faithful and sacrificial love to His Bride.  Thanks be to God!