Men, if we are to love our wives, we must, among other things, pursue them.  On December 6th, 2003 this is what I promised my wife as I proposed to her: I promise to always pursue you in romance.

Now “pursuing in romance” does not merely mean sex and sensuality.  It means something more foundational.  To pursue our wives in romance means to show them and help them to feel that we value them.

Does your wife feel that she is cherished by you?  Does she feel like she is special to you, more special to you than any other person or activity?  Does she feel that you treasure her above all else (except for Jesus)?  I keep using the word “feel” because that is how most women receive communication within relationships.  If they do not perceive that we love them by how we seek to make them feel, then it almost doesn’t matter how much we really do love them.  Our wives might know that we love them, but do they feel it?  Only she can say this for sure.  Maybe it would be good to ask our wives when they feel the most pursued or valued or cherished by us.

What have you done lately to purposefully help her to feel that she is worth spending your time, energy, money, and creativity pursuing her?  I don’t just mean being nice to her, but actively doing something with the clear intention to show her that you enjoy spending your life on her.  We might have relatively less time, energy, money, and creativity to spend on anyone or anything, but the more demands on us just means that we must make a more disciplined effort to help our wives feel cherished by us.

You don’t have to try to go out and buy her a yacht, but you should try to think of at least one or two practical things you can do this week, today even, to purposefully help your wife feel like she is the precious gift from God that you believe she is; that she truly is.