To most Christians this question probably seems ridiculous to even ask, but there are two very good reasons to ask and answer thoughtfully: the question, “Should we teach our children to pray before they show evidence of saving faith?”

1. Because there are some very learned and devout Christians  with sincere hearts of love for Jesus and their children, who are asking this question.

2. Because most of the Christians who assume that the answer to the above question is an obvious, “Yes.”, really have not thought through it enough and are thus not adequately prepared to answer those who question them about it AND also are not as passionate as they could be about teaching their children to pray.

Before we answer the question of, “Should we teach our children to pray?”, I think most of us need to ask why this is even a question.  The argument for not teaching our children, before we are sure they are genuine Believers, to pray goes something like this:

– Since the Bible is clear that praying with insincerity and without faith is wrong (Matthew 6:5-8; Romans 14:23 and Hebrews 11:6), and

– Since the Bible is clear that God will not listen to the prayers of those living in sin (Proverbs 15:8, 29; 28:9; Isaiah 1:12-17; Jeremiah 11:11, 14), and

– Since unbelieving children are living in sin, without faith, and have a heart of insincerity,

– Therefore, it is not right to teach them to pray to God.

Those who adhere to this, argue that there are dangerous consequences for teaching an unbelieving child to pray to God:

– It is dishonoring to God (Mark 7:1-13).

– It is, at best, giving our children the opportunity for having a false sense of security of their salvation (Isaiah 29:13; Jeremiah 6:14; Matthew 7:21-23; Ezekiel 13).

– And it is, at worst, leading our children to sin against the Holy God, because all unbelievers (including children of believers) who pray without faith are sinning (See the above references under the first bullet point).

Now we can get back to answering the question, with an understanding of why it is asked:

First, I think it is a good reminder for us that Jesus taught His disciples how to pray by giving them many examples and even a model prayer to pray in Luke 11:1-13 and Matthew 6:5-13.  Whether from parents, John the Baptist, or Jesus Himself, teaching others to pray is good.  (Side Note: Not a huge point, but it is interesting that Jesus taught His disciples, including Judas, to pray.)

Second, the passages about God not receiving the prayers of certain people are not necessarily restricted to unbelievers (See also I Peter 3:7 and Matthew 5:23-24 and Mark 11:25 and James 4:2b-3).

Third, there is one prayer for sure that God hears on behalf of every person, and that is the prayer of repentance (Romans 10:12-13).  So, shouldn’t we be teaching our children about God, about His Gospel, and about praying prayers of faith-filled repentance, calling out to Jesus to save them?

Fourth, Cornelius, in Acts 10, was not a Believer in Jesus Christ, but he prayed continually (Acts 10:2) and God heard and answered his prayers (Acts 10:4).

Fifth, children are conceived in sin (Job 14:4; 15:14; Psalm 51:5; 58:3; Isaiah 48:8; Romans 5:12, 19; Ephesians 2:3), and thus everything they are and do is without faith in Jesus Christ, insincere with regard to goodness, and therefore sinful.  So while it is not and should not be the goal of parents for their children to pray with insincerity and without faith, and indeed, we as parents must teach our children to pray with faith and knowledge and sincerity, the question must be asked, “Is it better for them to be taught to pray to God asking Him to forgive their sin because of Jesus, or maybe just asking Him to change their hearts, give them understanding, and grant them faith, or is it better for them to not be taught to pray because they are sinful unbelievers?”

Sixth, we don’t always know when our children understand and believe the truth of the Gospel, especially if we are teaching them from their earliest days.  While we should do our very best to keep our children from trusting in some experience or prayer or emotional state for the assurance of their salvation, it would be a grave injustice for us to hinder our children from praying if they are truly children of God (Matthew 18:1-6)!  And thus much care should be taken here.  Giving our children serious warnings about coming to God only with sincerity and faith in Jesus (which is a good thing to do) is still a far cry from not teaching, or not encouraging, or discouraging, or even not allowing our children to pray.

Seventh, if we have an 18 month or even a 3 year old who repeats a cuss word that they heard somewhere, we would not spank them for it.  Why?  Because they are not saying it with knowledge and sincerity.  But we would still teach them to not say it.  Why would we do this if they weren’t sincere about it?  Because it is a bad word, regardless, and we do not want them having a bad vocabulary even if the words are meaningless to them.  Accordingly, we teach our children to say, “Please.”, “Thank you.”, “You’re welcome.”, and even “I love you.”, well before they can say it with understanding and sincerity.  But we teach them to say good things and teach them not to say bad things.  In the same way, we teach, encourage, and even command them to do good things even when we know that they do not want to and are doing it out of genuine love.  Obedient behavior is not honoring to parents or to God (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3) if it is void of sincerity and love, but we still teach, encourage, and demand them to do submit to our authority by doing what we say.  Of course, we must still teach them to obey rightly, from a pure heart of love for us and faith in Jesus, but we would never dare discourage or command them to do bad things and not to do the good things we tell them to do.  Both in behavior and in speech we parents should teach, encourage, equip, and command our children to do that which is right with a right heart.  But even when their hearts are not right, they still should do that which is right.  We teach our children a good vocabulary before (and so that) we can teach them the good meaning and concepts of those words later.  And we teach them the good concepts (often before, and) so that we can teach them to say the good words with understanding and sincerity from the heart.  And praying to God is a very good thing.  Our children would have a great cause to be angry with us if we do not teach them to trust in, love, and pray to the God who created them out of His good pleasure.  It is to their benefit that we teach them to pray.  (See also, John Piper’s answer to this question.)

So, let us not confuse our children or give them a false sense of a security of their salvation, but let us also not deprive them or hinder them from coming to Jesus (Matthew 11:25-30; 19:13-15).  Let us, instead, take seriously the call to bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (including instructing them to pray to Him) (Ephesians 6:4).