Has there ever been a time during your family worship where you felt like the entire family was distracted?

I know in my house, this has happened on more than one occasion.  It doesn’t matter how animated I become or how creative I tell the story, sometimes my family seems miles away.

Before I complete this post, may I just say that distraction for my family mostly comes from depravity.  We are a sinful family that often struggles to take pleasure in the deep truth of God.  Even as we sit before his word and cry out in worship, I fear that our hearts can be wrapped up in selfish ambitions.  Thank you Jesus for loving us despite ourselves.

Apart from that, I also believe that distractions in worship can also come from a disorderly environment.  Recently, I read a secular book called ‘The Tipping Point’ by Malcolm Gladwell.  During a dissertation on how the physical environment can effect violent crime, Gladwell speaks of an interesting theory proposed by two criminologists named James Q. Wilson and George Kelling.  In their hypothesis called ‘The Broken Window Theory’, they state that:

“Crime is an inevitable result of disorder.  If a window is broken and left unrepaired, people walking by will conclude that no one cares and no one is in charge.   Soon, more windows will be broken, and the sense of anarchy will spread from the building to the street on which it faces, sending a signal that anything goes. ”

Then as Gladwell correctly points out, “This is an epidemic theory of crime.  It says that crime is contagious – just as a fashion trend is contagious – that it can start with a broken window and spread to an entire community.”

Now, I would argue fiercely that crime is not a result of disorder, but rather of our sin nature.   The natural default mode of a heart that does not know God is destruction.  This is clear.  However, I would agree with these criminologist in the sense that disorderly environments can only contribute to disorderly conduct.

How does this relate to your family worship times? One thing I’ve learned through our short years of doing family worship is that effort should be taken to prepare the environment for God honoring worship.  If your living room is a mess, your kids are hungry, and your wife is ticked off at  you, chances are worship time is gonna be pretty rough.  However, if you’ve taken proper steps throughout the evening to prepare the family for worship time, I believe that God can be honored in your efforts.

Below I’ve made a short list of ideas you can consider during the hours leading up to your worship time.  As always, please know that my list aren’t exhaustive, and there’s a good chance I’ve got something wrong.  I’m a parent just like you, seeking to honor God through the daily successes and failures of child rearing.  May God be glorified through our efforts to worship him!

1.  Make sure the family has it’s physical needs met
2.  Pick up the room in which you plan to have family worship
3.  Ask your kids to use the bathroom before worship begins
4.  If there is any division in the family, resolve it before you worship
5.  Make sure all toys are put away and out of reach
6.  Have your songs and teaching picked out before you sit down

Finally, and most importantly, make a conscious effort to ask God daily to captivate your families heart and mind during family worship!

Simplify Family Worship

A man who is like a spiritual father to me began what he called a “family altar” with his wife before they were married, and has faithfully continued the practice through the arrival of children and grandchildren for more than fifty years. Sadly, it seems that few men among even the best evangelical churches today could speak of daily family worship in their home. In the minds of some, active church involvement eliminates the need for family worship. For others, Bible reading, prayer, and singing praises to God together as a family have been crowded out by the television, the Internet, and a non-stop schedule that makes even meals together a rarity.

But the father (and in his absence, the mother) of the family has the responsibility from God to provide spiritual leadership for his household. As He did with Abraham, the Lord wants every father to “command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord” (Genesis 18:19). Each one should raise his children “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Every husband should love his wife as Christ loves His bride—the church—and follow Christ’s example of washing his wife with “the washing of water by the word” of God (Ephesians 5:26).

While it isn’t the only way, the simplest method of applying all these texts in a steady, practical way is through daily family worship. This is how generations of Christians have understood them. For instance, both Baptists and Presbyterians in the 1600s saw this biblical teaching, and incorporated identical language about the expectation of family worship into the most influential confessional statements in their respective histories. To this day, many churches still maintain (at least officially) that, “God is to be worshiped everywhere in spirit and truth; as in private families daily.”

Somehow, though, many men have gotten the idea that family worship is complicated, or that it requires time-consuming preparation. But it need not require any more preparation than your personal worship of God. And the entire experience can be reduced to three simple elements: read, pray, sing.

Read. The centerpiece of family worship is the Bible. Read a passage of appropriate length for your family, making any impromptu comments that come to mind. Those with younger children should emphasize the narrative portions of Scripture, and possibly the Proverbs. Eventually, most seem to work up to about a chapter a day, reading consecutively through a particular book of the Bible. I recommend that you ask a few questions to determine comprehension, or just ask the children to repeat what they remember.

Pray. Let the words of the passage you read suggest matter for prayer. The husband/father should pray, and perhaps one or all the rest of the family members. Most days this will be brief.

Sing. Use a hymnal and sing a cappella, or sing along to a recording, or let a family musician lead the way. Sing as little as one verse, or for as long as the family enjoys it.

Any order of “read, pray, sing” is fine. It doesn’t have to be long to be effective. Be patient with the interest and attention span of the younger ones. Remember that you’re not only fulfilling a responsibility to God by leading family worship, you’re also introducing your children to Him. In these moments together, your children can see your love for God and for His Word, and some of the most teachable moments of their childhood will occur. So start family worship in your home today. It doesn’t matter when you have worship. For some, early morning is best. For others, it’s mealtime, and for still others, it’s bedtime. Just start. Whether you’ve been married fifty years or newly engaged, just start. Keep it simple, and keep it up.

_______________

¹London Confession of Faith (Baptist) 22.6; Westminster Confession of Faith (Presbyterian) 21.6.
For more details on this subject, see Family Worship: In the Bible, In History, and In Your Home by Donald S. Whitney at www.BiblicalSpirituality.org

I don’t have the words to accurately describe the impression this type of parenting makes, but thankfully a man by the name of Terry L. Johnson does.  In his writings of, “The Family Worship Book”, Johnson articulates these beautiful words that are seared into my mind daily:

“Children growing up with the daily experience of seeing their parents humbled in worship, focusing on spiritual things, submitting to the authority of the word, catechizing and otherwise instructing their children will not easily turn from Christ.  Our children should grow up with the voices of their fathers pleading for their souls in prayer ringing in their ears, leading to their salvation, or else haunting them for the rest of their lives.”

Thank you Daddy for the ringing in my ears! May it never escape me.

This video is of my 3 year old daughter.  May God make the ringing in her ears overwhelming!

Click here to view the embedded video.

How do I raise my children in a Christian home?

You might be wondering why this was an honor.  Allow me to explain.

If I were hiking in the Rocky Mountains and found a rock, that wouldn’t really be special. But if I accidentally stumbled upon a large piece of gold, that would be incredible! Why? Because rocks are common, but gold is scarce.

In our culture, fathers are common… but a father who earnestly desires to raise up his children to know and fear God is hard to come by. As I sat there with this father, I felt like a man stumbling upon gold… finding something scarce… finding something ancient… finding something of great value. Not only was I able to cross paths with this eager father, but God allowed me to share my story. It was an honor.

For the next hour, I shared with him everything God has been teaching me over the last 5 years. God has had my wife and I on a personal journey to seek out what it means to glorify God by raising Gospel-centered children. In a world that says it can’t be done, the Bible is telling us that it must be done (Deut 6, Eph 6, 1 Timothy 3).

If you are like that father…. searching on this website for answers that you need to love your wife, raise your kids, and leave a legacy of faith for generations… you are in good company. Though we will post many informative articles here from different husbands and fathers who help lead Saint Louis FamilyCamp, we confess to you that we don’t have all of the answers. We are sinful broken men who have families that are held together by the grace and mercy of God. Like that father sitting across the table, we’re hungry to learn and we’re asking the same question:

How do we raise Christian families in a post-Christian culture?

If you’re like this father, not certain what’s ahead but ready to begin the journey, let me encourage you with the books and resources that God used in my life to bring me here today. First and foremost, read the Bible. It sounds simple, but seriously, read the Bible. Every other resource I will recommend is founded from scripture. Don’t just read the commentaries, read the source! Second, and in this order, read:

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s a great place to start if you were completely clueless like me. Through the wisdom and experience of these seasoned fathers, God has reshaped my vision of families.I will forever be grateful for the role they have played. Last, continually pray… for vision, for wisdom, and the resolve to lead your families in worship.It’s a pleasure to be on the journey with you.

Are you gonna eat that last wing?